


Snoke's Chambers After Holdo Rammed the Ship

by how_do_i_turn_this_thing_off



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fan theory, One Shot, One-Shot, Oneshot, Reylo - Freeform, theory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 06:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13452219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_do_i_turn_this_thing_off/pseuds/how_do_i_turn_this_thing_off
Summary: The interlude between Holdo ramming Snoke's ship and Ren waking up to find Rey gone.First Published on Tumblr @how-do-i-turn-this-thing-off





	Snoke's Chambers After Holdo Rammed the Ship

   For a moment Rey thought their tug-of-war on her lightsaber had actually blown up the whole ship.  There was a flash of molten-hot white light that completely blinded her and an ear-splitting sound exactly the same as the one the Starkiller had made when it had broken apart.  The floor lurched under her feet, an animal trying to buck her off, throwing her up in the air before she could process what was happening.  She landed heavily on her side, the wind knocked out of her completely, spots still in front of her eyes so she could only barely tell she was facing toward Snoke’s throne.  Ash was in the air, ash and fire, then a shower of bright sparks as the overhead lights blew out, blinding her again.

   Ben.

   She couldn’t breathe but she forced herself to roll over on her back anyway, forced herself to gasp for air.  New tears streaked down her cheeks and she found when she tried to get up that she didn’t have enough breath to do it.  She still couldn’t see very well but there was no sound of movement from anywhere else in the room.

   Ben.

   She pushed underneath her, using the Force to get to her knees, to help her stay up as her lungs filled enough to clear her mind, enough for her to look around.  He was lying on his face on the other side of the room, and he wasn’t moving.

   “Ben!” she tried to say, but the word came out as a breathy whisper.  She pushed toward him in the Force, trying to feel for him, finding the rough outline that was how he felt in her mind, real and solid in front of her.  And alive.  And alive.

   She staggered to her feet, finding her balance and holding out her hand for her lightsaber.  It flew to her, one part hitting her open palm, one part hitting her in the chest where she caught it reflexively.  Two pieces?  She shoved them both into her wrap, not caring right now as she finally, finally got across the room to Ben.

   He was breathing easily but he wouldn’t wake up.  She tried to use the Force to figure out what was wrong, tried to feel him more clearly, her hands hovering over his head, his back, but all she felt was the solid shape of him in her mind and nothing else.  

   “Ben, please,” she moaned, grabbing his shoulder, trying to roll him onto his back.  It was hard– he was heavy, she was tired, but she still did it.  “Ben, you have to wake up,” she said, grabbing his shoulders, shaking them a little.  His face was angled toward her but slack, eyes still closed.  “Ben!” she said more loudly, shaking him.  “Ben!!”

   Nothing. She didn’t let him go but diverted her attention for a moment, glancing towards the door.  If she pushed her senses she could vaguely feel the chaos beyond, the distressed sounds the ship was making as it pulled apart.  No one was coming their way, not yet, but it wouldn’t be much longer.

   “BEN!” she shouted, turning back towards him, screaming it in his face.  She was crying again as she shook him uselessly.  “Ben, please, you have to wake up, please, I can’t get you out by myself.  Please, Ben, please!”

   He didn’t respond at all.  She let go of him and scrambled to her feet, holding out hands that were trembling with the danger they were in, trying to ignore her base, instinctual need to run, to hide.  Not without him.  She’d come so far!  And after what he’d done–.

   Rey reached out in the Force, harder than she ever had before, feeling the ship around her.  Escape pods were launching already, which made them easier to find.  Some were very nearby, probably Snoke’s personal pod and some for his retinue, and she could get Ben there.  She could.  She could get Ben there.  In her mind she lifted him, but he only came up an inch off the floor.  It was impossible to keep him steady, impossible to try to control all of him at once, and she had to lower him back to the floor before trying again. A few inches, if that, and still wobbly and still no closer to their escape route out of here than he had been.

   In the back of her mind she felt someone coming, someone different than the others, approaching with intent, authority, a heavy aura of purpose.  Still far off but already too close.  She lowered Ben again, gently, kneeling next to him, trying to fight back a horrible, sick despair in the pit of her stomach.  She couldn’t do it, not in time.  She wasn’t strong enough.  They’d come all this way, they’d done so much, and she was about to fail him.

   “Ben,” she said, taking him by the shoulders again, leaning over him, pressing her forehead to his, trying to get as close as she could to him, to his mind, trapped away from her behind the dark wall of unconsciousness.  Her tears fell on him, and still he didn’t even twitch.  “Ben, please.  PLEASE.  I can’t leave you.  You have to wake up, you have to wake up right now!  Please, Ben, PLEASE.  I’m not strong enough to do it on my own, I can’t do it, and I can’t leave you!”

   The One With Purpose was getting closer but still Rey held on to Ben, leaning back to look at him for some miraculous sign he was waking up: still he didn’t stir.  Her tears came harder, faster, almost sobs by now.  They were going to kill him.  She reached out in the Force and retrieved his lightsaber but didn't fire the blade, just holding it loosely in her hand, staring at the hilt.  She could fight, with his lightsaber because his was still intact, but for how long on her own? Against the entire First Order, in the middle of this room with no cover, no support?  If she stayed she would die here too but she couldn’t, COULDN’T leave him to wake up alone, to face what he’d done, for her, to save her.  The moment they found out he’d killed Snoke they’d try to kill him, and he was probably better than her at fighting them but the ending of the story would be the same.

   Unless… unless…

   She set his lightsaber to the side and took his head in both hands, pressing her forehead back against his, closing her eyes, forcing herself to breathe.  To find some kind of calm, some kind of focus.  She reached for his mind and felt for him, just beyond her, maddeningly out of reach.

   “Ben,” she said slowly, clearly.  “You have to tell them I killed him.” She projected the words directly into his mind as much as she could, focusing all her power, all her will on him.  She’d never done anything like it before, had no idea if it was even working, but something in her gut told her that maybe it was.  It seemed to echo oddly, like being back in the Mirror Cave.  Was she using the dark side of the Force to do this?  Honestly, even if she was she didn’t care.  “You have to tell them I killed him,” she repeated herself.  “I killed Snoke.  I killed Snoke and all of his guards, then I ran away.  Tell them that.”

   No response.  She had no idea what she’d expected but she felt nothing different, nothing new.  She leaned back, absentmindedly wiping an errant clump of hair away from his face.  The One With Purpose was almost here.  Their time was up.

   “I have to leave you,” she said in as calm a voice as she could, wiping her wet face and rolling him over on his side so it looked as if he’d fallen there naturally, clipping his lightsaber back to his belt just... just in case.  That's what she told herself.  Just in case.  “I’m so sorry, Ben, I have to.  I’m so, so sorry.” There was more to say, more to do if she only knew how, but from below she could hear the elevator being powered back up.

   She ran.  It cut her heart out to do it, to turn her back on him, alone and unconscious, surrounded by the bodies of the people they’d killed, with all their attendant consequences speeding toward him on that rising elevator.  He’d survive, she had to believe that.  He’d lie, even if her Force trick hadn’t worked.  He was smart, he was strong.  He could find a way through this mess, but if she stayed and tried to defend them it would mean death for them both.

   A corridor led to Snoke’s grandiose personal escape pod, built like a miniature courtroom itself.  She flinched but didn’t have time to be picky, diving inside and strapping herself into the controller's seat.  The doors were already closed and she hit the emergency release button just as she sensed the doors to the throne room opening, held on to that place in her mind even as she tumbled away from the ship into empty space.

    _Tell them I did it_ , she chanted towards where she could still feel Ben in the Force as it connected them, flowing through her, guiding her while she kept up her mantra, punching in the coordinates for where Chewie would be waiting on the Falcon.   _Tell them I did it tell them I did it tell them I did it_.

   She felt, barely, when he woke up, and she braced herself.  If she sensed anything, the smallest suggestion that he’d turned his lightsaber on, that he was in battle again, that he was in danger, she didn’t know what she’d do.  Turn the pod back around?  Wade into battle with a blaster she’d find on the way somewhere, two useless pieces of lightsaber clinking in her wrap?

   Yes. That was exactly what she’d do.

   She focused as hard as she could toward him, hard enough that she could almost feel him again, but no signal of danger or distress ever came. He was awake, and seemed to be moving away through the ship.  Whoever was around him did not attack.

   The Falcon came into view just ahead of her and she sighed, releasing her hyper awareness.  He was fine, or as close as he could be, given circumstances.  He was alive and he wasn’t in danger.

  She pulled out the two pieces of her lightsaber as Chewie drew her in, staring at the divide directly down the middle.  Blue crystal showed inside, the edges of both hilt and crystal melted and burned.  It was useless now, worse than useless, a painful reminder of the moment she thought he’d changed and found out he hadn’t, or at least not enough.  Best just to throw it away and forget about it.

   The pod landed safely, clunking to a stop in the Falcon’s loading bay. Just before the door opened she took both pieces and hid them back in her wrap, already reviewing places in the Falcon she could stow them for now.  She was a scavenger by trade, after all.  No reason to assume she couldn’t bring it back to life somehow.

**Author's Note:**

> The original version did not include Rey interacting with Ren's lightsaber, since at that time I hadn't noticed myself/read the metas of other people who noticed that Ren wakes up with this lightsaber on his belt even though he doesn't have it at the time Holdo rams the ship. Rey must have put it there, so I allowed for that. Where would we be without the metas, amiright? :)


End file.
